The Big Green Giant

Jealousy. You can't help but feel it at some point in your life. Whether it's that dude with the super nice car that parks next to you everyday just to rub it in, or it's that kid that got a better grade than you on your exam, even though you studied way more. We've all felt it, we know how it goes.
But I'm talking about jealousy in relationships. You could say I'm "the jealous type", but I prefer not to say that. I'm just a guy, like a majority of the guys out there. We have all those raging hormones in us. Even though we try to play it off like we're the cool guys that never get mad, we can't help but feel at least a slight tinge of jealousy when we see someone flirting with our girlfriend/significant other. Some guys are worse than others, but everyone feels some degree of jealousy.

It can get hard when you go to college, especially if you're going to two separate schools. She always tells me about the guys that hit on her. I'll be honest with you, it pisses me off. But I'm not about to start a gang war over something like that. After all, they're just guys like myself.

I was in that position once. I was the homewrecker. I've probably homewrecked a total of 4 girls in my lifetime; all of them had long-term boyfriends. Now how terrible is that?

Jeez, looking back on it, I feel like a real dick. So now, it's coming back to bite me in the ass. Now I'm the long-term boyfriend that is being threatened by an outside enemy. It sucks to be the guy on the other side.

Jealousy is a bad thing in life, and especially in relationships. Jealousy is like a big monster that you have to control because if it gets out of hand, it can destroy everything. I've had very serious thoughts about trying beat up this guy, or at least rallying my friends up and jumping him or messing up his car. I've seriously considered all of these things.

But that is just the jealousy taking hold of me. I have to realize all of the repercussions of these actions, and I see that it's not really worth it.

So to everyone out there, if the big green giant is sitting on your shoulder, don't think twice. Go do something like work out or run or break something, then think about it 4 more times.

And if it still bothers you? Then think about this: if your lover really loves you, then there's nothing to be jealous about.

Don't Be A Stranger, Pasqual

I have not written in this blog for a while...

As a matter of fact, I forgot I even had a blog until I ran into it on my bookmarks bar.

Anyway, I was reading my old posts and it was crazy to see how much I have changed since high school. I think change is a beautiful thing. I used to hate it; I always wanted things to remain at a constant. But I realize now, that change is necessary for everything.

I dreaded college, and I thought my life would turn upside down because all of my friends were going to different places, including my girlfriend.

But now, I appreciate it. Yes, there have been hard times, but that's just the freshman adjustment, and it will be easier next year.

More than anything, I have spent time alone.

Everyday I drive 60 miles on average, to and from school. Sometimes it takes me an hour, sometimes 2 and a half. That whole time, I'm alone in my car.

I was never used to being alone. I always had my brother with me, or my friends, or my girl. I was never alone.

At first it made me feel uncomfortable to be alone; I felt like a loser, or like I was doing something wrong. But now, I like it. To me, the road is a time for me to think, reflect, and predict.

Most of the ideas I get have been from driving on the freeway.

So before I go, a quick update for future reference. I'm still with Robin, I am a freshman at Chapman University, majoring at the film school in Creative Producing. I have an internship at the City of Brea TV and broadcast station. I still think Sublime is the greatest band ever, but I don't mind popping in some Bad Brains or Kanye West or even Public Enemy; depending on my mood. I still go to the gym a lot; not every day, but I try. I'm currently writing a screenplay to a movie called: "Thanks for Waiting", which I hope to film one day. Still love my brother. Still love my Mom and Dad. Oh yeah, and I got a dog. His name is BUD. I love him, too. He's watching me write this.

Change is growth.